Is saying sorry a sign of weakness?

I’m sorry. Apologies for that! My fault!

I seem to use these phrases a lot. At home, at work, with friends and family. I have been brought up to say sorry, to ask for forgiveness and to treat people as you would like to be treated yourself. It runs to my core. I (think) it makes me likeable and approachable. But what if it doesn’t?

I was talking to my youngest daughter today about apologising and how she has the same tendency as me and I realised how often and easily I do this. Being likeable and approachable is good yes? BUT is it also a sign of weakness or lack of confidence in your opinions or decision making ability? Do colleagues see you as meek and mild - a bit of a pushover?

I remember when I left my last job, one of my colleagues said to me that she was excited for me to work at Facebook because she thought it would give me ‘an edge’. She explained a bit about what she meant and at the root of it was my confidence and ability to project my leadership visibly. I have always been someone that hides myself and finds it difficult to put myself front and centre.

I know for sure that I have a preference for ‘quiet leadership’ and so do many researchers I have supported. So tell me, how might we show up as quiet leaders, projecting confidence and capability but ALSO with humility and empathy?